If your house is on fire there is no time for 'good morning how are you?' you get your family out there as quick as you can. So when a marriage is burning down its hard for parents to give their children the attention and affection they want and need. As a young boy growing up I didn't know any better, I was raised in the turbulance of a marriage which was disingrating into hatred and anger. I look about me and see the same old story repeated so many times. How is it that those who once loved each other could come to the point where they hate their soul mate more than any other person in the world.
From my standpoint I loved my Dad because he would take time, he would find emotional energy to express his love for me. I knew he loved me but I wanted more. I was lonely. I was a latch key kid, many times I would arrive at my primary school to find that for some reason there was no school that day but my parents had gone to work. I feel rather than remember the loneliness of returning home to an empty home and spending the whole day alone. I remember once coming home from school and being too afraid to enter because I had seen something scary on TV so I sat in the cutter waiting in the rain for my parents to come home. A neighbour saw me and took me in.
So when the slim connection to affection was finally cut it seemed to seal in my mind my fate, that I would forever be lost in the a of loneliness.